Category Archives: Marriage/Weddings

Asking

April 26, 2015

Friday afternoon there was a wedding in our church building. A young couple from China asked me to marry them and I told them they could use our church building if they wanted to get married here. They did have the wedding here and the reception was here too.

Since I officiated at the wedding (much more of an honor in the Chinese community than in American weddings) I stayed for the meal. (In the spirit of full disclosure, the food was exceptionally great!) After the meal, the group did a lot of things focused on the new bride and groom. (This was a very “Chinese wedding” thing to do.) One part of the activities after the meal was a slide show of the couple followed by the groom singing a song to his new bride.  Although it was all in Chinese (and I did not understand much of what was said) I could tell that part of the slide show was Qing (the groom) asking Mingyi to marry him. He was pictured down on one knee, looking up at Mingyi and the next picture showed Qing jumping in the air with his arms raised in triumph and joy. Obviously Mingyi said “YES.”

Reading Ruth chapter 3 and thinking about what I should say about this chapter, “asking” is at the center of what happened.   Naomi leads Ruth to make a very elaborate “ask.” But asking is not just in the book of Ruth, it is all over the scripture. Yes, at times God acts on His own initiative and according to His intention. But, there are also MANY times when His people ask – just read the Psalms (Israel’s prayer and hymn book).

Jesus left us no doubt about the validity of asking. “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened” (Matthew 7:7-8). Paul said “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6). James said “You do not have, because you do not ask God” (James 4:3). Hebrews says “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Heb 4:16).

Some of us might be shy to ask, but the Bible’s invitation to approach God and ask for what we need is clear. Is our request too small for God’s interest? NO, not because our requests are all that important compared to the running of the universe, but because of God’s GRACE. His grace invites us to ASK.

How comfortable are you in asking God? He has opened the door for us, will we respond to His invitation?

Wedding Today

February 8, 2015

A few weeks ago a young Chinese couple came to see me and asked if I would do their wedding. As NDSU students, they knew that I had married other Chinese couples and asked me to do their wedding, planned to be in just two weeks. Although I was complimented by their request I cringed a bit inside. Back in 1977, I made a personal rule that I would not marry anyone unless they did some kind of marriage preparation. There have been a few exceptions to that rule and as I talked to them, I felt that this was one of those times.

First of all, Dalu and Cuiyuan had no way of knowing about things like marriage preparation. They have friends at the F-M Chinese Christian church, but they do not regularly attend.

Secondly, Cuiyuan’s parents were going to be here (coming from China) on the weekend planned for their wedding. Those kinds of plans are not easy to change.

Third, they were willing to do marriage “preparation” with me after their wedding. Not the best plan since the motivation to work hard at marriage preparation is much less after the wedding, but I have done that before.

In the end as I talked to them, I decided to say yes to officiating their wedding.

Their original plan was to have their wedding at Dalu’s NDSU apartment. But, as they invited their friends to come, they discovered that the apartment would be too small. In the end, I offered them the use of our church building and they decided to use the fellowship hall. So today Dalu and Cuiyuan will set up our fellowship hall for their wedding at 2:00. They will probably be setting things up as our worship service ends this morning.

As we gather today and as you think about this wedding, please pray for Dalu and Cuiyuan and their family and friends as they come. Pray that they will find Jesus and one day put their lives in His hands. Pray that as I share some of the meaning of marriage from the Bible, that it will touch their hearts and have the ring of authority that can come only from biblical truth. Pray also that as we do marriage preparation, after their wedding, that it will equip them for a healthier marriage and give us an opportunity to talk more about the important spiritual side of life.

Throughout my ministry God has used me as I have helped couples with their wedding and their marriage. It is a special opportunity for ministry that few can have. It is my prayer that I will be sensitive to the Lord’s leading and the needs of Dalu and Cuiyuan as we share this special time in their lives.

Your pastor,

Dude Garrett

Mariom and Eduardo’s Wedding

July 28, 2013

Planning and executing a wedding is hard work.  I know, I’ve helped plan more than 40 of them in the 30+ years I have been a pastor.  That is really not a lot for 30 years of ministry as a pastor, but it does qualify me to speak to the challenge and hard work of planning a wedding.

I think it is very important that a wedding reflect the wishes and heart of the bride and groom.  So, when a couple asks me to help them with their wedding, I give them a lot of room to express their personality and their individuality.  After all, it is not my wedding, it is theirs.

In the last few years I have had the special privilege of working with several international student couples who wished to get married here in Fargo.  Even though they wanted an “American” kind of wedding, I still wanted them to put their own personal touches on the service.  In every case, it has been a pleasure to help them through the planning.

That has been especially true of Mariom and Eduardo’s wedding.  At first they seemed to be content with my planning, but as we went along, more and more their wishes came to the surface.

First they did not have a “wedding party” as most couples.  They would stand by themselves and Mariom would walk down the isle alone.  Then, they decided on songs for walking in and walking out (processional and recessional) that I did not expect.  One was even from the Disney “Tarzan” movie.  But they fit – very well, even the words were most appropriate (though we did not sing the words).

Then, the scriptures they selected for reading in their ceremony were not what I expected.  Mariom selected Colossians 3:23-24 and Eduardo selected Matthew 7:24-27.  Read them over and see what you think.  The more I thought about them, the more I liked those verses.

Then they picked other songs to sing – congregational songs.  One was from our hymnal, but I had never noticed it before.  The words were perfect. And finally, they wanted to play a video song by Chris Tomlin.  It was a song we have sung with the worship team, but I had never thought of it for a wedding, “How Great Is Our God.”  They wanted to do an international version with 5 different languages – more than 6 minutes long (that’s a long song).  At first I was skeptical that it would work, but the more I played the song and thought about it, the more I liked it.  After all, their wedding was an international affair.  They were thousands of miles from home, they had friends from other cultures in attendance and singing to the Lord praise at the end of the ceremony, in 5 different languages was the PERFECT ending.  The more I thought about it, the more I was caught up in praise.

I hope you were here to enjoy the wedding.  If not, you missed a wonderful blessing.  It was a celebration of the gift of marriage, but it was also a time of worship.  And, best of all, the more I thought about it, the deeper the worship soaked in. THANKS, Mariom and Eduardo!

Your Pastor,

Dude Garrett

Want to talk to Pastor Dude?  Give him a call on his cell phone (701)261-0931.