March 22, 2015
I have learned after 60 years of living that there are times when life is especially good, and times when life is especially difficult. Those cycles come and go, sometimes because of my actions, sometimes because of the actions of others and sometimes because of situations that only God controls.
Lately, I have felt the sting of disappointment more acutely than normal. My disappointments would fall into all of the categories mentioned above. Although in closer examination, most of them fall into the category of being my fault. In short, I have lately been disappointed in myself.
I could go into more detail about some of those disappointments, but space and propriety wisely say, “don’t go there.” Instead I could quote Paul’s words in Romans 7. “For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing.”
In me is that same battle. I want to do good. I want to talk with someone and know that it helps them know the Lord better and see His hand in their life. I want them to grow, change, mature and form new and godly patterns. But in the end, they walk away from me and don’t come back. They smile and say thanks, but I see no change or maturity in their life. They come to me for help, but they do not find what they are looking for. I know what would help them, I try to point them to it, but it seems to be of little value.
Again, Paul’s words express my feelings. “Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible…to the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.” (I Cor 9:19-23) Yet, I see few who are rescued from their sin and distress.
Again, Paul’s words in Romans 7 ring true to me. “Who will rescue me from this body of death?” Am I just stuck in disappointment? Paul goes on, “Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord…There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.”
In the end, it is Jesus who is the Rescuer – the Savior – not me. My life is in His hands. It is not my own efforts that secure my place in God’s Kingdom, it is His. I may not be what others need. I may not be able to help them. But, I rest in the Hands of my Heavenly Father. I may fail at everything I do, but in the end, HE will welcome me into His presence and I will find the peace and satisfaction I long to find. Yes, Jesus is enough and He is my LORD. If I take my eyes off of myself, put them back on Jesus, my disappointments fade away and I am at peace. All, thanks to HIM!
